classification: heavy thud industrial impact 
solid 5-ply hardwood core engineered for zero kinetic flex
delivers a dense, deep-tissue acoustic resonance that penetrates far past the surface of the skin.
stark white matte finish for a low drag surface bite 
contoured raw wood handle for precision velocity control and maximum grip security during high stakes structural correction. 
safe word? what is dat? 
oh yea, you can play ping pong wit it too...